Camden's Legacy

For those who do not know what we have been going through, 2021 has been an extremely tough year for Sarah and I. In April, we found out that we were having a baby and were ecstatic to welcome him/her into this world that we love so much. We went in for our 15-week appointment to find out the gender and all of the excitement quickly turned to fear. We found out we were having a baby boy but that he had an extremely rare abnormality called bladder outlet obstruction. Essentially our son, Camden, was not able to release the pee in his bladder back out into the womb. Sarah and Camden underwent emergency in-utero surgery to have a shunt placed just a week later. We were given good reports at weekly ultrasounds for 10 consecutive weeks and thought we were out of the woods. Then, at the next appointment doctors told us that the both of Camden's kidneys had failed. After multiple additional opinions, prayers, and a lot of thought Sarah and I decided to pursue comfort care once Camden would be born. Sarah and I spent 1 hour and 13 minutes with Camden before he passed. We are grateful for the short time spent with our baby boy.While this is every future parent’s worst nightmare, we are trying to look at things in a positive way during this time. We are focused on not being negative, as well as trusting that Camden is in God’s hands.

The situation that we are in has brought a lot of deep thought and time to ourselves to think about purpose and meaning and all that deep stuff that we as humans never truly think about. Before I really get into all of this, I would like for you to know why I am writing what you are currently reading. One of the major things that I have come away with is that as a parent, you want your kid to have an impact on your life and the world around him. While Camden is not going to live out his earthly life, I believe that he can still have an impact on lives and can leave his mark on this world. I already know that he has left an everlasting impact on his Mom and Dad. As his father, I feel as though it is my responsibility to carry out his legacy so that he can potentially make a difference in someone else’s life. If one life is changed for the better, Camden’s legacy will be filled.

Perspective is shaped and defined by our experiences. Without an openness to hear other perspectives, we will never improve our lives because it is impossible to shape perspective without experience. As we would not wish the experience of losing a child on anyone, we would like to share our perspective on what we have learned.

Read that again.

While this has been the worst nightmare Sarah and I could imagine, we have learned a ton of lessons through deep thought and severe grief. We both can’t help but think that we are going to be better humans because of what we have been through. We have learned how important it is to be there for each other. Not just the easy phrase of let me know what I can do for you or I’m so sorry but the true meaning of being there for each other. We have both cried for hours upon hours on each other’s shoulders, picked up each other’s day-to-day responsibilities when needed and learned the true meaning of what it means to love. Love is patient and love is kind, love is not in any way selfish and never should be. It’s about the other person across from you and how you can make their day better or their life easier through kindness. Although Sarah and I are soulmates, without Camden, we would have never learned this lesson to the extent that we now know. As part of Camden’s impact, I want to challenge whoever is reading this to love those around you unconditionally. I can promise you that you will see more joy in your life if you love harder.

Another important lesson we have learned is how important it is to be grateful. There is no doubt in my mind that being grateful is the most important action we can take as humans to bring more joy in our own lives. Sarah and I are both Christians and as Christians we are taught to be grateful for God and the gifts that he gives us. Losing a son is obviously not a gift, but what comes along with that is wisdom. We are grateful for the lessons this situation has taught us and the boosted love and reliance we both have secured for God. As part of Camden’s impact, I would like to challenge whoever is reading this to find something in their lives they are grateful for and to tell yourself how grateful you are for it. I promise you that over time, you will feel more joy in your life than you did before.

Coming full circle here.

Deep thought has revealed the values I would have wanted to teach Camo and what lessons I would want him to shape his life around. The most important value that I would want to pass down to him is one that my father and mother passed along to me. Leave it better than you found it. I feel like this value is derived from love and respect for others. In today’s world, it is so easy to only think about yourself. I’m guilty of it, you're guilty of it, everyone is guilty of it. As part of Camden’s impact, I would like to challenge whoever is reading this to live by the phrase “leave it better than you found it”. I can promise you that your world will change because of it. The world will be a better place if everyone puts aside selfish thoughts and actions and instead thinks of others and how your actions may have a positive or negative effect on them.

Camden has completely changed our outlook on life and has given us meaning and our answer to what the meaning of life is. As I believe that everyone has a different meaning to life, ours is without question to love others unconditionally. Spreading love has been the only thing that has gotten us through these times and will remain our purpose for the rest of our lives. Life is so precious and we never know what is around the corner. Because of the unknown, we are choosing to make the most of life, relationships, and opportunities.

Leaving a legacy should never be rooted in selfishness but instead should always be derived from wanting to leave something better than you found it.

As part of Camden’s legacy, we ask that you take these tough lessons that we have learned and are still learning and use them to better your life. Sarah and I want to thank the endless support that we have received from family, friends, and complete strangers. If you feel like it, please share this message to carry on Camden’s legacy.

John 13:7, “Jesus replied, “you do not realize now what I’m doing, but later you will understand”.